Hot Mess

Some of you read that title and said, “Yup, that’s me.” No more description necessary.

If this is you, it could be safe to say you have ventured way past “fine.” You are probably disheveled, possibly unraveled, quite likely disoriented, and perhaps even exhausted. Formulating whole thoughts and communicating them in an effective manner may have been booted off the list of your capabilities. The best you have is yoga pants, a ponytail or female version of a man-bun (oh wait, that’s just a bun isn’t it?), frozen pizza, and a Netflix binge.

Is this bad?

We’ve all been there or are currently having our Amazon Prime packages delivered there—trying desperately to move past this depleted state, feeling dragged down as if we jumped in the lake fully clothed… in winter clothes… with muk luks.

Perhaps your self-diagnosed state of “Hot Mess” has not made a physical appearance yet. But it will and, besides that, emotionally, spiritually and relationally you feel akin Thai soccer team trapped in the caves; frustrated you got here and desperate to find a way out.

Could being a Hot Mess have its place?

I’m starting to believe, it’s just a natural indicator that God has a redemptive work on the cusp, waiting to be welcomed in.

Last week I went on a driving trail with my friend and our two eight-year-olds to have a mini photography lesson and enjoy nature. Since I was driving, I was really only able to photograph things on my side of the car. So when we came up on a plant with several Grackles on them on the right side, I asked Marina and Elias to take pics of them. Earlier, I ran into a fellow photographer that told me the Grackles were looking particularly rough which made me a little curious. The photos were snapped and we continued to move down the trail.

It wasn’t until we returned home and I rifled through Eli’s pictures that I saw the state of the Grackles.

They were a hot mess.

Boat tailed Grackles are a common bird here in Florida. Whether you’ve realized it or not, you’re often greeted by them in the Target parking lot or outside of Publix. People usually confuse them with crows or blackbirds. Although they are ubiquitous, I doubt many have really looked at them. I know I didn’t until I started getting into photography.

But, oddly, they are a beautiful species. The young males are black, but the adults are marvelously iridescent. They have a lovely buffy domed head and are loaded with personality. At least that’s normally how they look.

“A lovely buffy domed head” was nothing like what I saw editing those photos. These Grackles were flat bald. They looked rough! I believe there’s a saying that goes, “They were rode hard and put away wet.”

Both wondering and sad as to their state,, I posted Eli’s picture (which he took with great skill, by the way) to a Facebook group made up of photographers whose goal is to educate, specifically for that Wildlife Drive. I asked, “Is this Grackle maturing and getting his feathers? Molting? Or just a hot mess?”

The answer got me. As in I read it and it felt like my soul lept inside me I honestly believe God speaks through nature. His handiwork and ways are not random, but are to be noticed. And here He did it again.

This beautiful, stately bird had indeed come down with the Hot Mess.

According to the answers given on the site, the Grackles, along with many of the other birds, are done nesting and have started to molt. According to one Facebook expert, it takes a great deal of energy to regrow feathers so they go in hiding or rest to use all their energy to do so. You cannot do this when feeding babies, so nature perfectly plans this to happen after nesting and feedings are done.” Another (my Uncle Tabs) said they are “overworked by raising their broods. They get out of condition and suffer a bit during the ensuring annual molt.”

Is this bad?

You see during breeding season, there is a lot happening. The process for finding a mate varies amongst different species, but it is indeed a process. The birds are putting their best foot forward, demonstrating their resume, much like we do in dating season. After some rejections, the connection is made. Then, it’s time to build a home. Usually both parties work tirelessly to find the right location and the perfect building materials. Once home is established, eggs are laid. Now it is time to start defending and feeding. That continues long past when the eggs are hatched. There are so many predators that love eggs and tender young chicks. Fledging is next. The young ones are growing in their feathers, preparing to leave the nest. All the while, the nest is getting crowded and the not so little ones are very demanding—eating constantly. And so the parents are always looking for nourishment, while still keeping a vigilant watch over their young. Some birds, like the Gallinule, enlist the help of the older siblings to care for the younger, but even then the parents have to break up fights. Finally, once all the lessons are taught and the feathers are grown in, the kids are off on their own. It is at this point that the parents appear to us as hot messes.

Again, I say, is this bad?

No. It’s wonderfully natural. The parents just went through a taxing ordeal.
For a season, every bit of their energy was demanded from them. But now they have to redirect that energy towards themselves because right now they are a little ball of disarray. Exhausted. Spent.
And… the Good Lord programmed their instinct to rest. Retreat.

Shed off the old and allow new growth.

To me, God is demonstrating that there are seasons that we will be totally invested into someone or something else other than ourselves. These are not evil time killers from the devil, but real life scenarios God has allowed. Taking care of an elderly parent, raising tiny humans, dealing with a sickness or starting a new business are just a few examples. Feeding, protecting, cleaning, teaching, demonstrating love-investing is your focus. It is good and necessary. But there are natural ebbs when you have to look up and notice that you are a bald bird.

Time to step back. Time for soul care.

I addressed the issue of resting before in a post called “Rest in Peace.” I gave many examples of times that people, including Jesus, had to pull back and rest. The rest I am speaking of now comes before we are grown into a new season. A rest that will produce the feathers we need to fly right. Just like Habakkuk needed to climb the watchtower to find silence and solitude, we too need to retreat back, rest and draw on God’s strength.

In Discerning the Voice of God, Priscilla Shirer writes:
“The practice of simply being still has almost been totally lost. And we are paying the price for it—not only in fatigued, unhealthy bodies but in shriveled, starved, depleted spirits.”

Being a Hot Mess at the end of a particularly depleting season is normal. It’s ok. You did what was needed to be done. Good for you! But now it is time to retreat for a beat or two. A retreat is not running away. It’s allowing the Holy Spirit to renourish you, love on you and reignite you for your next adventure. Give yourself time to regrow your feathers, guilt-free. There is no set time frame for this. Open that conversation up with Jesus. He will let you know.

A bald Grackle may look like a Hot Mess, but now I see them in a whole new light. Well done Grackle. Enjoy your seasonal rest.