Swipe Right

Swipe right. Swipe left.

It’s a relatively new practice, but a behavior that has gone on for ages. The idea that based on a picture and a few words, you can instantly decide whether something (or someone) is worth investing your time in. If they seem pleasant enough and pique your interest… swipe right. Not so much… swipe left.

Our minds have been running this app since we were babies. Ever notice how some newborns decide to whom they will coo and to whom they will wail—almost instantly sometimes? From infancy to adulthood, we observe our surroundings and sort through, swiping as we go.

There is nothing inherently wrong with this. Imagine how bogged down our lives would be if every decision had to go through a vetting process.

But when it comes to friendship, perhaps we all have gotten a little hasty.

Over the last few months, or so, my husband and I have found ourselves at a heart wrenching crossroads, ultimately leading us to the decision that Jason should resign from his position at our church and we should embark on a new path.

As of this past Sunday, we are currently without a church home. This makes me sad.

You see, five years ago I joined my husband at the church he was attending. He was leading worship there, but I was so devastated over the miscarriage of my twins that I refused to join him. I was convinced that I needed to stay at the church I was at in order to heal. I swiped left on his entire church. All I saw was a mostly older group of men and women who, kind as they may be, had nothing in common with me. I was a ripped jean charismatic with a tendency to let out a “Come on Jesus!” during worship and they seemed to be more of a hymn and meditation crowd. Once I joined Jason there, I still often felt lonely and out of place. So many times I literally cried out to Jesus asking” WHY?!”

Fast Forward to this Sunday.

I wept in the hugs of my forever friends.

Over the last fives years, I’ve had to keep relaunching my mind’s app.

This time swiping right. And God revealed His why. I needed every single one of them in my life. I had some healing and growing that needed to take place and it was done surrounded by these amazing church people. They carried me through so much between the passing of my mom and my physical issues. The depth of their knowledge of Christ, testimonies, love and encouragement propelled me into a deeper walk with Jesus than I knew possible. Plus, they took the time to actually be with me when I needed the help.

God knew what he was doing.

And I trust that He still does.

If I didn’t, it would be easy to give into the temptation of avoiding going to church—even though I love it. ( I mean, I love being in the presence of Jesus and in the presence of people with Jesus.) But I don’t love the process of finding a brick and mortar church filled with people who have their own tight knit group and favorite seats. I don’t want people to look at me and launch their app. Sizing me up. Swiping left. But I will probably be doing the same thing. It’s in our sinful nature. We walk into churches and start our judgements by assessing outfits, friendliness, length of sermon, volume of music, etc. We want the “popular” inside group to be the ones that reach out to us. Or for the pastor to make a special effort to introduce himself. We are drawn to the friendly, but swipe left if they are “too” friendly.

Swipe. Swipe. Swipe.

We are ridiculous people. I am a ridiculous person.

Honestly, I say that with lightness and a bit of a giggle—not condemnation.

Because God will keep proving us wrong.

God has proven that my methods of observing, judging, and condemning (swiping left) do not hold a candle to what He knows. He knew I needed a “mom” figure, named Judy, to check on me weekly to make sure I was “behaving.” And a Lisa who would be just the right voice to give me the courage to do this blog. Also a Claudia that always saw me. I could not hide in my pain. He even provided mint-giving grandparent figures for Elias. These are forever friends.

All that so say, I will hold tightly to what I have learned and be thankful for what I gained.

I am going to do my best to not launch the app in my mind at all. If it blinks on, I am swiping right. God has a much better grasp on what I need than I do.